12/12/2023 0 Comments Silk spectre imdb![]() ![]() Running time: 108 minutes) Despicable remake of the despicable 1978 film "I Spit On Your Grave." This one is more offensive, because it lingers lovingly and at greater length on realistic verbal, psychological and physical violence against the woman, and then reduces her "revenge" to cartoonish horror-flick impossibilities. ![]() "I Spit on Your Grave" (Unrated for adults only. And forget about the 3D, which is the dingiest and dimmest I've seen. After little Mary (Elle Fanning) discovers her toy nutcracker can talk, he reveals himself as a captive prince and spirits her off to a land where fascist storm troopers are snatching toys from the hands of children and burning them to blot out the sun. "The Nutcracker in 3D" (PG, 107 minutes) A train wreck of a movie, beginning with the idiotic idea of combining the Tchaikovsky classic with a fantasy conflict that seems inspired by the Holocaust. There are pointless dialogue scenes going nowhere much too slowly, and then pointless action scenes going everywhere much too quickly. Although it follows the rough storyline of previous versions of the title, it neglects the construction of a plot engine to pull us through. "The Green Hornet" (PG-13, 108 minutes) An almost unendurable demonstration of a movie with nothing to be about. Nearing 80, Winters is still active and funny, and deserves a real doc, not this messy failed attempt at satirizing-what? Documentaries themselves? Lame scenes involving an art show, a theft and the "Museum of Modern Art" fit awkwardly with cameos of too many other comics, who except for the funny Robin Williams seem to be attending a testimonial. Jim Pasternak's mockumentary is not merely a bad film, but a waste of an opportunity. Jonathan Winters deserves better than this. "Certifiably Jonathan" (Unrated, 80 minutes). Inane setup followed by endless and perplexing action. Alex Pettyfer stars as Number Four, who feels hormonal about the pretty Sarah (Dianna Agron), although whether he is the brooding teenage Edward Cullen he seems to be or a weird alien life form I am not sure. Nine aliens from the planet Mogador travel across the galaxy to take refuge on earth and rip off elements of the Twilight and Harry Potter movies, and combine them with senseless scenes of lethal Quidditch-like combat. A "James Cameron Production," yes, but certainly not a "James Cameron Film." One and a half stars But this rich story opportunity is lost because of incoherent editing, poor 3D technique, and the effect of 3D dimming in the already dark an murky caves. Scuba-diving cave explorers enter a vast system in New Guinea and are stranded. A terrifying adventure shown in an incompetent way. The characters are so stupid it doesn't seem nice to laugh at them. This film's story began as a French farce, became the Broadway hit "Cactus Flower," was made into a 1969 film and now arrives gasping for breath in a witless retread with Adam Sandler, Jennifer Aniston and Brooklyn Decker. And Pauline Kael once wrote, "The movies are so rarely great art that if we cannot appreciate great trash, we shouldn't go at all." Movies that are "so bad they're good" should generally get two and a half stars. ![]() If you're sincere, be sure to know what you're getting: A really bad movie. Sometimes I hear from readers who confess they are in the mood to watch a really bad movie. These are, generally speaking to be avoided. Gathered here in one convenient place are my recent reviews that awarded films Two Stars or less. ![]()
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